I've been checking all the check-ins where you've checked in to confirm what I was guessing: you don't leave heat on your pillow. I've been watching all the windows with the window-shoppers in them, though the windows leave their image yours ain't in the mirror. But I don't wanna go. Though my daddy always had me swear to him I wouldn't dally with a shadow blending in on the family sofa You're my ghost you're my vapor with a heart of tissue-paper; skeleton under skin tasting like vanilla wafer. It's a shame it's a sin I've been adding my own flavor, walking up and down the paint-aisle with some samples. I'M GONNA HAVE YOU IN COLOR Check yourself. You don't know me like my mama do. She says, "My boy's sharp as tacks, he'll put a hole in your dancing shoes." So don't treat me like canvas/Kansas. It's been a long, long time Since you said you know me. You don't know me at all. You say you know my heart. You can't get inside my head. You think you know me. You don't know me at all. I'M GONNA HAVE YOU IN COLOR

In two years, you're gonna be single. I've read the future -- and the writing's bad. Sure, you'll survive on tears and PringlesTM. But when all the chips are down your heart will be the same down between the cushions where your lover used to lay. There's the obvious chance that you'll end up in the suburbs of DC, exchanging cards and hands with all them post-grad, post-doc, post-rock bands. In two years you're gonna be single scanning old texts to find the bomb inside the shoe that made it past the TSA. But you'll never know what brought your plane down, down in the desert where the hipsters get together sucking citrus over pictures that they hate. Since I'm singing, I don't mind singing the truth. Your soul was sold, your fate was sealed, man, with Gorilla GlueTM the moment you told her you'd give it all. You looked over your shoulder And you turned to salt. I DON"T FEEL THE SAME.

Before we started talking, we were talking about love. And no, no words were technically exchanged, but our mouths were moving -- the meaning was clear upon our lips and the tip of our tongues. And your hands said, "Hand it over." And your eyes said, "I want more." More soul than body forfeits when it loses tug-of-war -- and I'm tugging at your shoulders now. I'VE GOT YOU UNDER MY SKIN LET IT OUT, LET IT OUT THAT I LET YOU IN I'VE GOT YOUR HAIR ON MY CLOTHES BECAUSE IT ONLY TAKES YOU GIRL TO BRING ME BACK TO THE AGE OF FOUR GOT ME SCREAMING ON THE GROCERY STORE FLOOR IF I WAS RICH I'D STILL BE POOR FOR YOUR AFFECTION. I said, "I love the way your hair falls down." Would you love me if it all falls out? I fell for you, not for your feathers, let them falter, at the altar I will praise them -- praise the woman, praise her. Baby, love is electric -- a shiver in your vein that ends up with bills to pay. Baby love is a driver's license -- you want it bad, but then you're stuck in traffic, behind the wheel all day. Then you wonder: Why? Then you wonder: How? Then you wonder: Did I miss the fine print? I was told that I would never want for anything but I DON'T FEEL THE SAME.

You might put on your hiking boots. (I never want to see you again.) I don't mind, just lace them loose. (Enough to fit your fingernails in.) You might throw all my books into the fireplace. (I'm gonna smoke the devil out.) Please, mark my page before you do. BECAUSE I KNOW YOU AND YOU NEVER DO. AND YOU CAN SCREAM: I'LL SCREAM IN TUNE. You might dye your hair a different color. (Change my name, change my house, change my car.) Change channels if you wan't -- it still plays my song. Your new years' resolutions all resolve into the same sin sung with words of absolution ringing true.

It's hard not to break when the tectonic plates beneath your face shiver and shake I quiver and quake, tuned to your ways. And love is blind, like a spider is blind. It only sees motion, won't you move your hand next to mine? It's like growing a garden or building a house: Love takes your body and spreads it out. So when it rains on your porch It pours in my room and when your heart's broken -- I know, I live there, feel the draft coming through. When we first met I was thin I could bookmark my page in life's story, slip in, and not worry anyone. Then came your love and it made me big. I expanded. So now when we meet I've got limbs all apart -- one foot in my dreams and one foot in your heart, one hand in the dirt of the family farm and the other in yours. HARD NOT TO BREAK. I've got you under my skin and over it too. I remind me of you. I've got your hair on my clothes and everyone knows I remind me of you.

I deeply disappointed a dearest friend one Friday night. He wrapped himself in bed-sheets, he hid behind my door, he screamed, "You're gonna die!" Well, "A" for execution. Top marks for his Halloween style. But I did not cry because I was thinking about money. The recess of my heart's affections came concomitant with an excess of my head's reflections -- from God to credit cards. I fear no Hell, I hope no Heaven hangs like a roof about to fall. My fallen angels have taken the form of taxmen. Ain't you lucky to know me? IS THIS THE MAN I KNEW IN HIGH SCHOOL? IS THIS THE MAN I KNEW WHO'D CALL ME ON THE PHONE LIKE HE WAS CALLING DOWN THE HOLY GHOST? IS THIS THE MAN I GAVE MY LIFE TO? THE GHOST IN THE MACHINE IS GONE BUT MY MAN KEEPS MACHINING ON. I kiss you on your eyebrow, I kiss you on the bottom of your lip, in a city built on romance, wine and ex-pat novelists. And the air will turn electric, and the moon will drip honey on the bricks. You'll say, "You thinking what I'm thinking?" But I'm thinking about money. Oh, don't you know I worry too? Money ruins a honeymoon so honey move, honey hustle like you're born to. But I'm a working woman too, and two can do what lovers do: move product, make it rain like it's supposed to. But first you've gotta hold me, so tight I've got no breath left to blaspheme, so tight my ribs crack to the drumbeat. Order my affections, let love make room, make sense, make rent, make a little bit of time, babe. We'll do financial planning in the morning, cause right now the skin around your bones is glowing, I've given unto Caesar what is Caesar's but you are not his you belong to God.

Christ rolled stony, weary eyes as I stripped off my clothes, came close for comfort, close for Blue Ridge warmth in valley cold. Shoulders shaking, scorned and scourged I was yet bold to whisper, "Thanks for the warmth, for your cotton cloak, thanks for building a bridge I've been burning to smoke." Oh, I'm put up with. I'm given the time of day and lollipops -- gentle warnings from the cops. I live on credit from a Christian bank and they ain't checking up on my shaky balance. As my dark blacks bleed blood red, how I wish I was dead in the back of my head -- if the dead could still whine and eat CheetosTM in bed. Halfway through the valley of tears My heart is broken, my will is frozen, my mind stood stuttering in fear, so I cried out for rescue: LORD BE MY LIGHT DARK IS THE NIGHT DARK ARE THE TIMES LORD I'M IN STRAITS THIS CANDLE FLAME CAN'T KEEP ON SHINING. Shame. Shame is an owl with a mouse stuck in its beak -- It can't speak, it just looks wide-eyed and says, "Who am I to defy the order that ordered my vertebrae?" But though my wings tremble yet will I trouble the ocean of air with an upflung prayer -- truth-or-dare with a Spirit that plays but never plays fair.

I'm a particle though sometimes I'm a wave all according to the way you choose to measure my behavior. Lately I've been asking about my velocity. What would my position be if you didn't give me one? But how would I know what I'm like all alone? You're always measuring me. Tell me something, tell me true: Scientist, what am I to you? Your love's like lightening lighting up my moving train. I see it sooner than I would on solid ground 'cause I move its way. It's been so ever since you first addressed me: You detest me stationary, from the station you will rocket me to the light. But it gets stuck in my eyes. Won't you get out? TELL ME SOMETHING TELL ME TRUE: NIGHT-LIGHT WHAT AM I TO YOU?

I know you love me. I know you saved that voicemail I left you last summer. I said something dumb, like: "Hello, my lovely you, you're pre-approved for my line of credit! Won't you get in debt with me? I won't collect, 'cause I've been waiting for a man like you." I feel the weight of your love. It's digging a dent in my fourth finger it's putting pressure on my lungs. I know I am not enough, but you won't you let me diet? I'll pump iron until I can lift your love. LET ME LIFT YOUR LOVE.